Pride & Joy: The Lives and Passions of Women Without Children by Terri Casey is a collection of interviews with 25 women from different backgrounds and of different ages, all of whom chose not to have children. Although I’ve done other posts on childfree books before, this was the first of the childfree-related books I read that was more about being childfree than about making a decision one way or the other. As I read these interviews, there were many women I identified with and many I could see identifying with in the future.
For example, I share Monica Harrington’s view of a good life with writing and “having travel time interspersed with home time”. Like Princess Jackson-Smith, I would be crazed if having a peaceful bath was “luxury time” (or even worse, as I’ve heard some reference “going alone to the grocery store”). Although I don’t know that I gained any new insights from reading Pride and Joy, it was nice to get a glimpse into the lives of others like myself and to see others older than myself still happy without children. I’ll share snippets from the women I mentioned as well as a few others I could identify with below.
A few of my favorite snippets from the book:
“When I was growing up, my image for my life resembled the roles that Katherine Hepburn played—women of high independence who lives for themselves and not through other people (p 3)…When I’m old, I’ll have some cool friends whom I’ll enjoy getting together with, and I’ll still be actively involved in the world around me, still engaged. I see myself in a house in a beautiful setting, writing, having travel time interspersed with home time. That’s my idea of a good life (p 9).” ~~Monica Harrington
“She says things such as ‘You can’t imagine how great it is just to have a peaceful bath.’ And I think, a bath is a luxury? I’d be crazed. I’m not made that way…For me, the joys of being a mother would not compensate for being tied down, always having to be alert, and the fact that the responsibility never ends (p. 55).” ~~Princess Jackson-Smith
“I don’t see people with kids as having many more alternatives in old age than those without kids. Having alternatives boils down to planning and money. When I’m old I’d love to sit on the ocean shore and eat Salerno butter cookies. I’m not kidding—cholesterol be damned! I imagine myself moving slowly and having a few people waiting on me a little bit. So what if I have to pay them? (p. 94)”~~ Christine Swanberg
“…maybe it’s not what we do but the lives we affect that make a difference, and we all affect other’s lives every day in ways we’re often not aware of…Having children so that there is something to follow you on earth? I don’t think so. I believe you can touch people’s lives, and that’s what follows you on earth (p. 110).” ~~Vicki Heppner
“I never felt that I was supposed to get a great education, and then marry and have babies and not use it (p 130).”~~Martha Dorn
“My mom probably wonders if she did something wrong that resulted in her only daughter not having kids. She may think it reflects badly on her, and I wish that instead she felt it reflected well on her, that she felt good about raising a happy, independent thinker who has taken a less obvious path (p. 149)”~~ Joy Michaud
Have you read Pride & Joy? If so, what did you think? If you have a favorite childfree-related book, please share in the comments.
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